Today’s guest is a bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and award-winning coach. She’s here today to help you identify what is draining your focus, in order to make room for more time and abundance with the things you love in life.
Here to share the value of self-care and living a life of value… and to talk about accidentally showing up on Zoom in her swimsuit, please welcome Chris Atley.
- 0:25 – Chris Atley’s Background
- 3:58 – Focusing on Female Entrepreneurs
- 6:57 – Chris Atley’s Journey
- 14:15 – Virtual Speaking Engagement
- 19:01 – Book Wrote by Chris Atley
Learn more about this guest:
Podcast Episode Transcripts:
Disclaimer: Transcripts were generated automatically and may contain inaccuracies and errors.
Chris Atley , thanks for jumping on learning from others. How are you today? I’m great. Thanks for having me. Yeah, you bet. I appreciate your enthusiasm. That’s always nice.
No, can we talk before we hit record that? Um, you know, I’m going to hit you up with two questions, so why don’t we just get right into it? Question number one is what is your area of expertise? So what are our listeners going to learn from you today? Yeah. So I work with female entrepreneurs and I help them to put themselves back into their lives so that they can actually attract more abundance with less effort.
I like it, you know, you know how, you know how I know somebody knows what’s up is because they’re just like right to the point. Thank you. You gave a very clear, precise definition of what you do. And I have a lot of respect for that. Uh, thank you. Um, the reason I’m so happy is because I just fit in a beach walk this morning as well.
So I really do try to, um, walk the talk. Yeah. You know what, so we were kind of joking a little bit. We’re not joking, but talking about, you know, kids and family and stuff before we hit record and. I actually have a lot of respect for what you just said, because my wife she’s, you know, I’ve been doing early mornings for 14 years.
Um, and so just two, three weeks ago, my wife was she’ll. She’ll go to the evening gym sessions and then about two or three weeks ago, she just decided. There’s a 5:30 AM. One. I want to go give that a try. And then now all of a sudden she’s found like this new world of like, I can go complete, you know, get the gym session over with and just enjoying the rest of the day.
And so the last two or three weeks she’s been doing that. And, um, this morning, her. She missed her alarm. And so she rolls over and I slept in today too. I just needed to rest. And so she goes, what time is it? I said seven o’clock. She’s like, no, it’s not. I’m like, no, really it’s seven o’clock. And she says, crap, I missed the Jim.
And so coming full circle to why I’m bringing this up is, you know, you squeeze it in your beach walk. Um, my mother-in-law’s over right now. Because I said, call your mom and see if she can come over and watch the kids for a little bit and you can get out. So she squeezed it out and ran over to the gym.
So I got respect for, for keeping that, sorry. Yeah. And it, it really, it’s true. When we do stuff in the mornings, then we have the whole day and we don’t have to worry about fitting it in later. So that’s awesome. Good for her. Yeah. Yeah. All right, Chris question number two is what do you suck out? Yeah, what do I suck at?
I mean, I’m sure there’s so many, but one for sure is impatience or I guess I suck at patience. That’s like your patients. That would be a good one. Um, yeah. And I’ve been working on this one for a few years, but it’s still, it’s still there. So I always say I’m, you know, a recovering, um, Type a perfectionist.
And I think that impatience kind of goes with that, right? Like really just beliefs around time and should and cuts and all of that stuff. So really letting that go. But it’s still there. Yeah, it’s hard. I can appreciate that because especially when you find your little groove of, uh, embracing your little wins and successes.
And so when you realize you can squeeze those in, if you just focus, then you start micro-managing your time, which is good to be productive. But then yeah, you hit a point where you’re like, all right, am I being a little OCD about this? And can I just. Netflix today. And, you know, and then I become like a drill Sergeant with the kids too.
Right. Cause it’s like, okay, we gotta do this, this, this, you know, also we can get to the point of relaxing, you know, just needed to have a shift in perspective around that, for sure. Yeah. I imagine a lot of that plays into what you do, so you help female entrepreneurs. Um, first of all, it’s going to talk about.
W w what, what do you find, well, why did you niche down to focusing with female entrepreneurs? Yeah. You know, I kind of just naturally attract female entrepreneurs. So I’ve just learned to roll with, you know, when you ask for something and you put something out there to really pay attention to what shows up.
Um, and so I definitely have worked with men in the past, but for whatever reason, maybe it’s the self-care aspect. Um, I’m not exactly sure, but yeah, that’s, that’s just who I’ve attracted. So I’ve kind of just rolled with it. Yeah, that’s good. You know, I heard, um, one of our former guests, Rebecca song, she had, she took, uh, a YouTube course.
Uh, I’m going to screw up the name. Somebody Lazada is it’s like this big YouTube person. And, um, what this person said was, you know what, it’s basically exactly what you said. So you put out her niche was, it was YouTube success. And so she says, put out eight videos and if one of them. Resonates and has significantly more abuse than the other.
It doesn’t have to be viral or anything, but just noticeably more views than focus on that. Do round two on that one. And so interestingly enough, um, Rebecca found out that she had a huge audience, uh, helping women who. Are going through divorce with narcissistic men. So she, she likes hyper niched to narcissism, but, uh, it’s really interesting cause she’s exploded.
She’s gone in six months, she’s gone from zero to 4 million views on YouTube just from picking a niche. So I think it’s great to focus where you’re resonating because you know, I imagine it makes it easier for you, but then you can also, um, deliver a better product to more people. Totally. Yeah. And you can really dive into the unique needs and challenges of that audience too.
So with that’s a perfect example. Wow. Good for her to be a common tread lately, but that’s a whole other. Podcasts. Yeah. You know, you know what that, what the narcissistic man, you know, what was funny? And I, I went and met a new client the other day, so the audience will know that my background is SEO. And so I went and met with a new potential client the other day that it happened to be local.
So we went and met face to face and, um, towards the end we were laughing and having small talk and, and she, she had asked something about, yeah, You know, the type of clients we work with. And I said, it’s all across the board. We have a client that does this and this and this. And then I mentioned Rebecca and I said, um, you know, she specializes in helping women that are in relationships with narcissistic man.
And she just, her jaw hits the floor and she goes, I need her information. And she goes, I am not joking. I need that. Woman’s
that’s hilarious. Yeah. You talked about, um, You know, the, the being able to help the, in support, the needs of these female entrepreneurs, what are the needs that you see consistently coming to the table? Yeah. Well, the reason I love self care so much and, you know, putting ourselves back into our lives and this really started with my own journey too.
When I first hired my own coach before I even was a coach, but, um, is, you know, what we put out, we get back, right? So if we’re really wanting to create. You know, big results in our businesses or our lifestyles or whatever, that is what we put out comes back. So for stressed out and overwhelmed, we’re going to get more of that back.
Right. We’re going to keep seeing obstacles. We’re going to. Try to grind it out. Whereas if we’re coming from a more relaxed place, we’re going to be more resourceful. We’re going to see the solutions. We’re going to see the next steps. We’re going to have those creative brainstorms. And that’s one piece that, you know, if you felt focused on yourself, really what you’re saying is you.
Are worthy of receiving more. And so that’s really where I see deep down people have decided, and I do a lot with subconscious beliefs as well. They’ve somehow decided that they’re not worthy enough. They’re not good enough. They’re not smart enough. And that keeps them in this place of overwhelm and grinding it out.
Instead of being able to step more into that place of flow and allowing things to come in. Why do you think that is such a common thing? And I see a lot of like, with my wife, her she’s enjoyed going to the gym because it gives her more self-worth and she’s starting to find value even just in having a routine.
And so I see on a, on a. In my own little bubble, uh, you know, some of this that you’re talking about, and it’s interesting to me because, um, you know, I’m the total opposite. Like I’ve always been like hyper confident and if I want something, like I just go and I don’t wait. And so it’s been something I’ve become more aware in recent years that.
That’s how most people are, right. That there’s doubts and they need to overcome fears. And so candidly I’ve, I’ve had to realize that. And, uh, because I realized that I couldn’t relate on some of those things and I needed to be more sensitive in some conversations. And so help me help me. I listeners and the people that are the odd balls that just go and do things.
Uh, help us be more empathetic to what is the majority of people like th th they have things to conquer. Why do you think that is? Yeah. Uh, and, you know, I think first of all, when we’re in business for ourselves, it’s the best personal development course we could ever take, because we’re forced to look at these things right.
On a deeper level. Um, so I think that’s a part of it, but really. Overall, most of us were taught growing up to get our worth from our achievements and our accomplishments. Right. So we’re always looking outside ourselves to feel good enough. And I know I similar to what you’re saying, where. You know, really for the most part was confident or so I thought, I guess until I got into business for myself,
driven goal oriented. Let’s do this, but even not is coming from needing some kind of external. Um, approval, right. To find, to feel good enough. Finally feel smart enough. Like if I, you know, I was in corporate before moved up the corporate ladder excelled, like income wise, all those things, taking courses, it’s like, you know, yeah.
It’s great to have goals and grow and move forward, but is it coming from a healthy place or, you know, a non-healthy place essentially? Like what is the intention deep down. Do you have, as you talked about, you realize that over time, that makes me curious. Is there, they’re kind of like a average age of, of women that you work with where they start to realize these things too.
Yeah. You know, I think it’s kind of more about where they’re at in their business, to be honest. Cause I think when you’re first starting, you’re like, yeah, so excited, I’ve got this, I’m going to, you know, follow this course or do that. And I know that. Where I was and, you know, a gazillion dollars later and tons of masterminds, it was like it was flowing, but I knew I wasn’t reaching my full potential and you know, which I don’t know if we’ve ever reached our full potential, but I just knew I could be doing more and something was blocking me, you know?
And so it wasn’t until I really. Dove deep into these principles and looking at, you know, what is keeping me stuck, um, and looking at the belief systems that then I was able to, uh, start to overcome it. So I really think at first we have these great intentions when we start a business and then, you know, things kind of start to plateau, or why isn’t this webinar working or why aren’t I getting this out of this course?
You know? And then we have to look at, well, what’s really going on deep down. All right. So. What is the secret to life, Chris?
Hey, I’m on a lifelong journey. I’m trying to figure that out. Um, I think it’s just really appreciating, you know, who we are deep down, that we are these powerful creators and, you know, it’s just our ego that gets in the way that wants to throw us off course. And I think it’s just being able to recognize it faster and you know, not.
Um, paying attention to it and believing the stories that it’s trying to tell us so that we really can just create what we want to create. Whatever brings our hearts joy. I imagined that, uh, a lot th the, the answer. Is often way simpler than we expect. It’s like the simple things that make the biggest impact is, is that the case with who you work with, where there’s just like this small thing, but until you hear it from an external source, then you don’t rationalize it and quantify it.
And really. Realize how big of an impact. That simple thing you’ve been writing off is totally. And I feel like that’s how easy it is to create a manifest. So what we want, right. It’s like, you know, it’s so cool when you can get to the place of you just have a thought and then boom, it shows up. Right. It’s like, I totally agree.
It’s just simple, but it’s us that make it difficult. And we analyze, and we, you know, how men hot and, um, you know, believe some of these beliefs, beliefs deep down that we’re not good enough or smart enough. And we stop ourselves, whatever it is that gets in the way. Totally. That was amazing. How you just took that and put a positive spin on.
Yes. That’s the things that hold us down a little bit. How amazing is it? Is that they can be the things that lift you up?
Um, I wanna, I wanna hit this little funny story that I had a little note about before we jumped on. So all of us are living in zoom land lately. And so you have the story, right? About doing a virtual speaking engagement and all I’ll let you take it from there. Yeah. I forgot that. I let you know. Oh gosh, that’s so funny.
Oh my gosh. So, um, so I was. Uh, wanting to, okay. First of all, it was so hot. I think this was last week or the week before. It was so hot in Southern California
and it was so hot. So that morning, um, I was getting ready for the speaking engagement that was virtual and I was in my bathing suit. I was, you know, we have a pool we’re fortunate enough to have a pool is Outback. You know, reviewing things, doing a few emails in my bathing suit, feeling like, Oh, life is good.
This is so great. Right. And then I come into the office cause that’s where I’m going to give the talk. And my husband was in there. Uh, giving a zoo or on a zoom call. And I always check, I always look like Pekin. Okay. No, one’s on the screen. And I can like get in behind and do some stuff. So that’s what I thought was happening.
And I’m in there. My bathing suit, like organizing tidying up and, um, I hear all of this. A sudden, all these people laughing on us. Everybody is seeing me in my bathing suit. And funny enough, it was an HR call that he was so I was like after, well, I guess you can tell them that. So we do HR at our office.
All right. Do you know if this was, are you going to become a meme? Was this a recorded session? Probably it’s Raleigh has like a million views and it wasn’t even a great bathing suit. It was, you know, worn down. Yeah. I was like, damn it. You know, I could have put some effort into that. And I was like, you know what?
You’ve got to be able to laugh at this stuff. Right. So I shared it on Instagram because how many of us have embarrassing things happen? And then. Like, let it stop us. Right. I was like, Oh, well what, like, who cares? Right. What’s first out there like that. It takes away the power of it to be able to do that too.
Totally. Yes. Um, I had, I probably shared this before. Um, but I had not quite a similar story, but I had a funny story. So we had a guest and we’re doing zoom and recording this. And, um, as you know, for those that can’t see, I have a migraine in front of my face. And so there’s a mute button on, on my side. I can just hit it.
And one day I had, um, you know, my dog was barking, usually my dog shells out. And even if it barks, it’s just like once or twice, and then it stops. But this time, I don’t know if there’s a package or what it was just gone off the charts. And so I lean in and I hit mute and I’m like, shut the F up. And, and then I hear the guests I’m talking to just dead stop.
And so I’m like, well, why would he stop if it was on mute, that’s weird. And so I just didn’t say anything. And then, and then he continued. And so then at the end we just finished conversation. And then at the end of recording, I go. And I just play back just the first five, 10 seconds before I sent it to my editor and I noticed the audio quality wasn’t as good.
And so then it just all clicked the audio quality. Isn’t good because the computer dropped my mic and defaulted to the internal computer mic, which meant he heard me yelling at my dog because the mute didn’t work cause his mic wasn’t on. And so, and so I immediately found it and took, it, took away the embarrassment of it, send him an email and the subject line was ha and the email is like, I realized what happened, sorry about that.
The Mike job, blah, blah, blah. And he wrote back and said, uh, mystery of the universe solved. That’s hilarious. Oh my gosh. I’m sure we’ve all had those moments. At least you weren’t going to the bathroom. That would
Well, it, at least if there’s one positive out of the whole. COVID thing it’s that, uh, many more people are more relatable. Like we can relate now to the whole zoom life before I can tell, you know, half the stories and people would be like, that’s just weird or I don’t. Yeah, it’s so true. I mean, with people, you know, with kids home and all kinds of things, I know our kids have hopped in or popped in here a couple of times.
Being like, Oh my God, dad. Guess what? And it’s like, I’m on,
everyone’s got the same thing going on. So yeah. Well, let’s talk about, so you, you also wrote a book and you’ve done some TEDx talks. Um, what is your book along the same topic? Yeah. You know, I did that a few years ago. It was a collaboration with a few other female entrepreneurs it’s called navigating entrepreneurship and just helping female entrepreneurs get started.
Um, so that definitely is a great resource it’s on Amazon and. The TEDxTalk honestly was such a dream. I mean, the book was a dream come true too, but the TEDx talk, especially, um, you know, I had put it out there and a couple of days later, the opportunity showed up, you know what I was talking about. Right.
You put it out there, there. And funny enough, I didn’t realize it was in India and just a whole other country. Other thing, it caught my eye because I really liked their theme was about coming together and changing the world. And so I put my name in and, uh, And, and then, yeah, so I accepted it and then realize later, like, Oh shoot.
But what’s really funny about that is I also had been putting out there that I wanted to travel the world, be able to speak, bring my family. And I was like, okay, exactly what you asked for you. Can’t. You can’t say no. And so I took my then 13 year old son and we had the best time. Honestly, I, it makes me tear up because it was just so meaningful and he was a part of the event and just.
Treated so well, everybody was so nice there and we got to travel around and see the most amazing things. And so that, you know, will be forever in my heart. But if I had known it was in the upfront, I probably would have said no. Yeah. Yeah. How, how long was the whole trip? I think it was about 11 or 12 days.
Yeah. Yeah. Just under two weeks. You know what, it’s weird as another guest, Scott Stanfield, he had talked about putting things out into the universe as well. And I I’m like in the middle on that concept. Like, I, I don’t deny that. Putting things out in the world and verbalizing them can help you, like find the path to that.
Now does the universe works in mysterious ways? I don’t know if putting it out there literally made the next action happened like definitively, but what’s interesting is you hear amazing stories. Like what you just shared in Scott’s story. He works in like hell and he had wrote on his whiteboard or whatever, and said, I want to pick up a handful of new.
Coaching health coaching clients, and just so happened the next day I texted mutual contacts. So I didn’t know Scott before this day and I texted mutual contact and I say, Hey, um, I’m looking for somebody that knows this, this and this about health. And because my friend that I’ve known for 20 years was in health and diet.
And he said, you know what? I’d be happy to help you. But my friend Scott would probably be better. And so within 24 hours of Scott. Writing this and putting it into the world, boom. He gets this client. So it’s always amazing to hear the sequence, whether it’s literal or not. It’s just feel a feel good story when you hear people putting things out and then they happen.
It really is. And you know, it’s, it’s, I think all my amazing stories come back to that. So it’s like, you know, when it starts happening over and over, you’re like, okay, there’s, you know, something to this, but it’s, I think it’s exactly what you said before. It’s. Just not as maybe hard or complex that we think it is.
It’s, you know, just like attracts, like that’s, it it’s all work with it. I had, um, I had this, uh, I met this new contact, um, Justin Brene, I ought to bring him on, but he had it. You talking about like attract, like he had the most interesting thing. So he started this huge successful business, all through networking and he found his superpower is.
Connecting people like, that’s it. And so he, he says, you notice these patterns after you deal with certain amount of people that successful people have these consistent habits and you even start to see more granularly that they have consistent lifestyles. And he says, most of the people I work with are married.
Most of them are this, this and this. And he says, you’re married. Right. And he said, yeah. And he goes, and you have kids. Right. And I said, yeah. And he goes, um, Is your wife, a nurse or a teacher. And I said, no, she, she stays at home. And then he pauses. He goes, what would she do if she was working? And I go, damn it.
A nurse. Wow. It’s amazing. Like he started to catalog and document all these consistencies, like you talking about, and that it is true. That like attracts, like for sure. That’s really cool. I’ll have to check that out. Yeah, well, Chris, um, I want to say thanks for jumping on learning from others. Uh, appreciate you sharing your stories and, uh, I appreciate you going out there and helping, um, I’m always a huge supporter of helping fellow entrepreneurs.
So I appreciate you joining that and doing that. And I want to give you the last few moments to tell our listeners how they can find out more about you. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Um, so I’m mostly active on social media on Instagram and Facebook, so you can connect with me there for sure. And if you do want to learn more about connecting the dots between self care and success, then I do have.
A guide book that you can download. It’s just that email@example.com backslash power and some fun examples on, um, people that have really created some massive things as a result. So, and that’s it. I look forward to connecting. Cool. We’ll put that into the show notes, Chris Haslett, Chris atley.com/power. Chris Hadley.
Everybody. Thanks so much. Thank you so much. So fun. You bet.